Sometimes, when we’re busy, Mulder has to make his own fun.
He chews through the clasp(s) on his collar(s).
He dresses up for the holidays.
He steals my feather duster.
He steals our french fries.
He pre-opens our gifts.
He makes sure my bathroom sink has an adequate coating of cat fur.
He always finds something to do!
I wouldn’t say that we live in the middle of nowhere but I also wouldn’t say we live in an area known for having a wide variety of fun things to do. Especially on a week-night.
So, we have to find ways to amuse ourselves. Sometimes that means covering a comforter in USPS Priority Mail tape, sometimes it means watching really bad movies on the Sci-Fi Channel. (I’m talking about you “The Beast of Bray Road”.)
Sometimes, when extreme boredom looms awfully close, that means tormenting, I mean playing with, the cats.
I know I talk about our cat, Mulder, more than is probably considered normal or healthy but he’s just so much fun to play with. It is impossible to predict how he’ll react to being the focus of our attentions but he never reacts with annoyance.
Once, using static cling, I attached a receipt to his back. I assumed he’d, at least, try to remove it. Nope. He walked away and took a nap with the receipt still stuck to his back. While not quite what I was hoping for, I still found it mildly amusing.
Tonight, GrumpyD decided he wasn’t looking quite as fabulous as he should and a purple “feather” boa was JUST what he needed.
He made no attempt to get rid of the boa.
A cat who has destroyed every single collar we’ve ever attempted to put on him, proudly wore a purple feather boa until we decided he’d been wearing it long enough.
Maybe the collars we’ve tried just weren’t stylish enough for him.
Maybe he’s an odd little cat.
In either case, he amuses the heck out of us.
Chunk is the only known specimen of the Cuban Lizardus Mulderus (Mulder’s Cuban Lizard).
This is Mulder.
Mulder has a lot of energy and is quite playful. He also plays fetch. He’ll bring me a toy and then yell at me unti l throw it, so he can run and fetch it, bring it back and start yelling at me again. He can also turn just about anything into a toy, but his all-time favorite toy started off as green rubbery and stretchy lizard toy.
The lizard was fun to fetch but it was also lots of fun to pull apart. Mulder would stretch the lizard appendages until they popped off. The head went first, then the tail, then one by one the legs disappeared. It eventually became known as ”The Torso”.
Mulder didn’t stop at the appendages though and “The Torso” got to the point it really couldn’t be considered a torso anymore.
When he managed to get it down to about a 1 inch cube, GrumpyD called it “Mulder’s Cuban Lizard”.
I didn’t get the whole Cuban thing until she held it up and pointed out that it was now similar in shape to a cube. Cube-an lizard. (I love GrumpyD, she’s too darn clever and funny.)
Anyway, “cuban lizard” is a mouthful when trying to direct Mulder to get a certain toy (he’s very smart!). So, it became known as “Chunk”.
Chunk disappeared one day and Mulder searched high and low for it. He looked under the entertainment center, behind the couch, under the couch and even in the couch cushions, to no avail. No one had any idea where Chunk had disappeared to and eventually Mulder gave up on his search. He made do with furry mice toys.
Then, yesterday, he batted one of his furry mice under the stove. Since Mulder will sit next to the stove/fridge/whatever he’s batted a toy under and yell at me until I rescue it for him, I got out the broom and tried to sweep the mouse out from under the stove.
On my first sweep, out came Chunk!
I had never seen a cat react ecstatically to anything until Mulder laid eyes on Chunk. Oh. My. God. He purred and rubbed his head all over Chunk. He no longer cared about the lost furry mouse toy. He had Chunk!
Since then I’ve been playing what must be the longest running game of fetch, ever. During the times I’m unable to throw Chunk, Mulder puts it in places I’ll be sure to eventually notice it. Like in my shoes, or in my purse, or where I put my feet when I’m sitting at the computer. He loves Chunk.
Strangely enough, the mouse toy that prompted my sweeping under the stove never came out on any subsequent sweeps. Perhaps it volunteered to take Chunk’s place in Lost Toy Heaven, so Mulder could be reunited with his long-lost love.
I noticed some cat fur on my king-sized comforter and I grabbed a roll of tape to remove it. Something snapped in my head and, half an hour later, my bed looked like this.
In case you couldn’t tell, I used USPS Priority Mail tape.
It removed the cat fur quite well and, after I peeled it all off, the kids and I rolled the tape into a ball and played catch for a little while. FYI, It’s really easy to catch a ball that adheres to your skin.
Someone (NOT ME), who wishes to remain nameless, decided to try out one of those self-tanner products.
This person (NOT ME), did not wear gloves nor did they (NOT ME) wash their hands immediately after applying the self-tanner.
This person (NOT ME) ended up with bright orange palms.
The photo above was taken after attempting several home remedies this person (NOT ME) found online.
Rubbing hands with lemon? Did nothing.
Scrubbing furiously with an exfoliating body wash? Nothing.
Scrubbing furiously with baking soda? Nothing.
Wiping hands with rubbing alcohol? Nothing.
I wonder how long it will take to wear off on it’s own and how long a person (NOT ME) can walk around with their hands in their pockets.
I drove to Baker to pick up GrumpyD a few days ago and, while we were there, we saw something interesting.
Please excuse the glass reflection, we were in too much of a hurry to snap a photo to be bothered to stop and change the settings on the camera. However, since the car was parked, we did change settings after snapping that first photo.
There were children in the backseat. I’m really impressed that they made sure to buckle the baby up in a car seat.
Actually, our “siting” wasn’t all that unusual. There’s a little shop in Baker called The Alien Fresh Jerky Store and, as you might have guessed, they sell lots of different kinds of jerky (and olives and honey). They also sell assorted Area 51 and alien-related merchandise.
It’s a fun little place to stop if you’re passing through the area.
Dear Local Grocery Store Baggers,
I know that now we have self check-out lanes and bag our own groceries, you’re not making as much in tips as you used to everyday.
I know that sometimes you have nothing to do because everyone is using self check-out.
However, leaning against the bagging area and observing me while I bag my groceries is annoying.
Watching me put toilet paper into a bag cannot be THAT interesting.
And to the baggers who congregate by the self check-out lanes, I CAN HEAR YOU giving a play-by-play and critique of my bagging skills.
While I’m glad you approve of my putting all of my paper products into one bag, don’t you have something better to do? Like playing Rock, Paper, Scissors or giving each other wedgies?
Being watched makes me feel uncomfortable. If I wanted you all to follow my every move, I’d dance around the register and break into song.
“Cha, Cha, Cha, Charmin!”
